Dating, Dancing & Defying the Box: What Hayley Reminds Us About Being a Woman in 2025
Dating, Dancing & Defying the Box: What Hayley Reminds Us About Being a Woman in 2025
In 2025, you’d think the world would be done with boxing women in. And yet, when burlesque performer and single mum Hayley Dixon appeared on First Dates looking for connection, she was met with backlash, judged not for who she is, but for daring to step outside the lines society still expects mothers to stay inside.
"You’re a bad mum."
"You’re used goods."
"Why would anyone want you?"
That’s what strangers said—because she chose to put herself out there as a single mum, looking for love.
But here’s the thing. Don’t we all deserve love?
The Three Jobs of Being a Woman
Dr. Giselle Goodwin speaks about the triple expectations women juggle:
Look good
Be good
Do good
Hayley doesn’t just juggle them—she flips the narrative. As a fire performer and burlesque artist, she reclaims her sensuality and confidence, even while navigating solo motherhood. And when she performed pregnant? It wasn’t “too much.” It was power. It was joy. It was truth.
Too often, women are asked to strip away who they are to be “good mothers.” But Hayley shows us the opposite: the more we own our wholeness, the more we offer our children a fuller version of us.
As she says, “When you’re getting the real piece of you back, you’re going to be a better mum.”
Why Confidence Isn’t Selfish—It’s Essential
Confidence after motherhood isn’t a given. As Hayley shared, the gap in your career, the change in your body, the identity shift—it can all shake your sense of self. But it’s not selfish to rebuild it. It’s essential.
Because when you’re always in fight-or-flight, as Dr. Giselle Goodwin reminds us, your nervous system never lands. And when you never rest, you never return to yourself.
Whether it’s burlesque, boxing, or brunch with your girlfriends—reclaiming joy and sensuality after birth is not a luxury. It’s recovery. It’s therapy.
Single, Sexy and Still a Mum
Paloma Faith, in her book MILF, writes about women embracing the mess and magic of motherhood without apology. Hayley embodies this. She didn't go on First Dates for a fairytale ending—she went for companionship, for connection, and to remind herself she still mattered beyond the school run.
Dating as a single mum isn't reckless. It's radical. It’s a declaration: I’m still worthy of affection. Of love. Of desire.
The backlash Hayley received proves what many of us know: society still struggles to accept women who hold more than one identity at once. A mum can’t also be sensual? A single woman can’t also be stable? A burlesque dancer can’t also be nurturing?
These aren’t contradictions. These are the multitudes that live within modern motherhood.
This Isn’t About First Dates. It’s About First Steps.
Hayley didn’t just show up for a date. She showed up for herself.
She dared to be seen, looking fierce, as a mum, as a woman finding her way back to love.
And in doing so, she reminded us that:
You can be a mother and still want magic.
You can be sexy and still be safe.
You can feel lost and still lead yourself home.
In her own words: "You don’t have to dim your light when you become a mum. You can still shine."
So here’s to the women rewriting what motherhood looks like in 2025. The ones in heels and nappies (if this you, amazing please voice not me with how you did it), with dreams and dishwashers, dancing and dating and daring to want more.
I see you. I celebrate you.
🎧 Want the full conversation?
Listen:
🎙 Can We Have It All? With Dr. Giselle Goodwin
➡️ https://apple.co/3EOm5yy
🎙 Why Being a Single Mum Doesn’t Mean You Stop Dreaming – Hayley Steele on Love, Confidence & Channel 4’s First Dates
➡️ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/why-being-a-single-mum-doesnt-mean-you-stop/id1796676935?i=1000713201669
💌 Ready to reflect on your own return-to-work story?
Download my free guide, The Return Reset™, and take your first step toward clarity and purpose.
👉 The Return Reset Journal
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